This is the 5th 2016 post in my ongoing series entitled, “Reflections On Being A Writer In The 21st Century”. Other posts in this series are available on my Pulse archive page: You can spot them by the banner pic, which is the same the one you see above.
The older you get the faster the time goes. It sounds like a lamentation, but if you get to a certain age like me (68) and you’re still relatively healthy, you start to look at life a little differently.
You start to think, man, I’m one lucky bastard, especially when you consider all the creative people lately who are checking out in their late 60s and very early 70s.
I have been going through some changes recently, and some of the people who follow my musings have asked me if I might not be depressed.
Let me answer that by saying that I have no idea what depression feels like. But I do know a lot about what I feel inside my head. Because that’s where my office is.
What people tend to think of as depression in other people, may very well not be that. In my case, I was simply writing in a way that was signalling to me, a change of attitude.
I have always been pretty hard core in my personal writing. No matter what I was writing: lyrics, short stories, poetry, screenplays or blogs, a lot of it was pretty blunt. But that was my choice. It was the voice I felt comfortable speaking in.
But over the past few months, I have started to notice my voice changing. And like anyone who is confronted with change, be it internally generated or externally directed, there is a tendency to rebel and rage against the change, even though you are in charge of it, and going with the flow would be a much easier way to get through to the other side.
So the stuff people saw that concerned them was simply me duking it out with myself. Not really understanding where this change was coming from, and certainly without any sort of clue as to where it’s taking me.
I’ve been writing for more than 50 years. And writing professionally for about 40. During the course of that time, writing was never difficult for me.
I suppose you could say I’m very lucky, in that I have never really had to suffer for it.
I’ve never had writer’s block. It has never caused me to become ill in any way. Writing has been basically a companion for me. Something that has kept me out of a lot of shit I could have gotten into otherwise.
And this is not the first change that I have gone through. There was one other major change. And that was the one that took me from a mad scribbler of blank verse to a writer of much more structured pieces, which, in turn gave me the discipline to write short stories, screenplays, even a bad novel.
But this change is different. And I think what makes it different and why I have been resisting it, is that I really like where my writing has been over the past fifteen or so years.
I really felt like I was on top of it. And the the whole notion of going through a change and having to start, more or less, all over again with some other voice is kinda scary.
For those of you who think you might be a writer, this is the kind of crap that can happen to you. It’s all good, because for writer change means growth.
I suppose I’m writing this as much for myself as I am for all of you. And maybe this piece that I am writing is the first transitional piece that isn’t creating a lot of fiction in my mind.
In fact, I started writing this at 11:06 and it’s now 11:28, so this thing kind just flowed out of me, like blood from a bullet wound. (just kidding).
I’m not sure why I wanted to share this. Mainly for the people who read my stuff, saying not to worry, I’ll be fine. And I guess for anybody out there who genuinely loves the act of putting their thoughts down and sending them out into the ether for people to see.
I’m privileged to know quite a few of them. And they have influenced me, entertained me and moved me in countless ways.
Because for writers, the people you read are as much a part of who you are as the writing you do.
Anyway, thanks for your concern. It’s getting better all the time. Have no idea where it’s going. But maybe I’m not supposed to.
I am a communications professional. Through my own core skills as a strategist, writer & art director and with the help of a select group of insanely talented associates, I work with primarily B to B clients, large and small to create hard working communications in whatever sector of the marketing universe their strategy dictates the need to travel through. I am also a mentor, blog post editor and a pretty decent photographer.
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