“I ain’t lookin’ to compete with you
Beat or cheat or mistreat you
Simplify you, classify you
Deny, defy or crucify you
All I really want to do
Is, baby, be friends with you”
Those of you who know me, understand that I am more of an op-ed blogger than any other kind. And I take the word ‘opinion’ very seriously.
Like those of us with them, opinions are all we have. So at the end of the day that’s really all you get. And in this complex world made so beautiful and interesting by differences of opinion, some people are bound to get a little pissed off with mine.
This, of course, is completely their problem, because in my opinion, of course, I am always 100% right.
Differences of Opinion Are What Make Horse Races.
My opinion only truly matters to me. If happen to agree with it, that’s great.Then I will consider you a comrade. If not, however, I won’t consider you an enemy or a rival or, (in most cases at least) any sort of asshole.
You will simply be someone who has bet on another horse.
The Modus Operandi Of Pissing People Off.
Well, it’s really simple.
A. Have a strong opinion and
B. Voice it.
Let’s see how that works. Here are three examples of opinions that I currently hold.
1. Donald Trump: Always a good choice these days, because opinions on this gentleman, (and I use the word generously), are quite polarized. My opinion is basically a reflection of what I have seen of him on the campaign trail, running for the Republican nomination.
Donald Trump is basically a cartoon. In fact, he is such a poor cartoon that real cartoon characters would probably feel insulted. From his bizarre wig or comb over to his tiny hands. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was wearing human hand-shaped gloves to hide the fact that he only has three fingers like most other cartoon characters.
In the comments of one of my other posts, my friend Phil Friedman summed up his appeal beautifully “In a country full of hungry people, he shows up with a bunch of hot dogs.”
And frankly the hot dogs are not very good. The buns are stale and the garnishes rather sparse. And there are not chips.
The anti-Trump invective flying around these days is at a level that is seldom seen. I believe there is a reason for that, and it has very much to do with the fact that despite his constant bullshit about wanting to make America great again, it’s just very hard for some people (hopefully a lot of people) to put their faith in well, a cartoon.
2. Assholes With Smart Phones: In my city, Toronto, there is a law prohibiting the use of cell phones while driving. So people have to pull over when they get a call or a text or need to make or send one.
But sadly, like any city, even a nice clean one like Toronto, we have a lot of assholes. And assholes with smart phones are the worst.
These days, when they are driving around and have a cell phone event, they have become so entitled that they don’t actually even feel the need to pull to the curb, meaning actually park their car properly and then answer that life and death phone call or or text.
The other day, I was riding along Gerrard Street and noticed one of these assholes doing one of their half-assed parking jobs. I also noticed that the person behind this particular asshole was obviously assuming that there was a normal person in the car ahead of him and slowed down but did not stop.
Because the asshole in the front car left the back end of his car out in the lane, the result was a rear end collision. So now we have one very angry asshole, because assholes seldom if ever admit that they are wrong and another angry non-asshole. And rare case of a rear end collision actually being the fault of the driver in front.
Assholes like this are everywhere in my city. They are a menace, simply because they are just plain stupid.
If you’re one of them, you can be pissed off at me for calling you an asshole. But that’s what you are. If you’re not one of them, you can be pissed of on general principles and show empathy for the ]guy in the non-asshole occupied car.
3. The Digital Marketing Con Artists: For the better part of this century and the last nine or ten years specifically, a new breed of marketer has been prowling around.
These people are called Digital Marketers and they are the world’s foremost group of snake oil salesmen.
These are the people who tell you things like your ‘personal brand’ has never been more important than it is these days: that you need to position yourself as a ‘thought leader’, by creating and disseminating through multiple channels a never ending stream of information that tells people very little but creates the impression of your irresistible capability and or employability.
These are the people who will help you build a presence on social media whether you need one or not. And that’s important, because to these people, there is no ‘not’.
By and large, they have no marketing experience other than digital and therefore can only advise you on the digital side of your marketing.
And that’s a piss off too, because even if you play the game exactly as you are instructed and do so in championship style, all that effort will likely net you a whooping big ROI of less that 1%.
Oh sure, there are businesses that are going to do better than that. And these infrequent examples are touted big time. But the simple fact is you will more likely be closer to zero than any double digit number you had in mind.
Feel free to join the millions who are already pissed off about that.
If you are a digital marketer, I guess you can be pissed of about this, despite the fact that it’s a pretty accurate reflection of reality.
The Never Ending Story
I could go on. The movie industry, Volkswagon, The Global Warming Movement, the FBI, the NSA, the CIA, government corruption, Russia, The Middle East, big oil, big pharma, lobbyists, the NRA, even LinkedIn…
But that’s enough for now. Three’s a charm as they say.
So if you’re sitting there seething a bit, by all means let it out in the comments. I’m all about the engagement these days, even if you just wanna slap me around. I won’t mind, because that’s a big part of what this post was supposed to do.
I am a communications professional, primarily a strategist & writer.
I work with B to B clients, large and small, graphic designers, art directors and marketing consultants to create hard working strategically focused communications in all on & offline media. I am also a prolific blogger who likes to provoke thought and wake up the comatose.
If you have a marketing or communications challenge
you would like to discuss, (no obligation),
there are three ways you can contact me
Direct Line: 416 463-3475 • Email: email@example.com
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All content copyright Jim Murray, Onwords & Upwords Inc 2016