We are driving around our new home town of St Catharines a lot these days.
We are looking for furniture and shelving and even major appliances. It’s all quite an adventure because every time we decide to go somewhere we take a different route because that’s kinda how you go about figuring out a city.
We are trying to ride up and down as many streets as we can, to see where they go and what they are all about.
But there is one street we have decided we need to avoid. It is called James Street. It’s not a very long street. Only about 6 blocks or so. And when you’re driving around in the downtown core, you could cross it several times.
But evil lurks on James Street. An evil so insidious that if you are exposed to it over even a short period of time, it will cause you incredible pain and anguish, not to mention guilt.
Because James Street is the home of Beechwood Doughnuts.
Beechwood is a vegan doughnut shop that is run by evil witches who want nothing more than to see us all balloon up to be worthy candidates for the Discovery Channel program “My 600 Pound Life”.
These witches labour over cauldrons of vegan stuff and create donuts that are the essence of pure evil. I am sure there is some eye of newt in there somewhere.
They sell these donuts for $14 for a half dozen, but they are a steal at twice the price.
There are maybe 20 different types of donuts and or fritters available at any given time. All different, all amazing, all irresistible and all evil in the extreme.
Thanks Star & Ben
On their first visit after Christmas, my daughter, Star and her husband Ben, discovered Beechwood while cruising around downtown to see what kind of city we had moved to.
On our first visit to the bakery itself, we simply stood there in awe and watched the purple-haired witch behind the counter gleefully dispense these meal-sized giants to a short line of customers.
We decided to buy half a dozen, 2 chocolate-glazed chocolate filled fritters, 2 mint chocolate filled, and 2 apple fritters.
We put them on the back seat and headed west to a big Home Hardware store on 4th Avenue. All the way there the evil doughnuts beckoned, like tiny sirens in a paper box. “Eat us, Jim and Heather…eat us all then go buy some more on your way home”.
The smell of the doughnuts wafting from the back seat was as powerful as any aphrodisiac you could imagine.
You Will Always Remember Your First Time
We pulled into the parking lot, shut off the car and sat there for quite a while. Finally, we decided to have one. The rain beat down on the roof of the car as I brought the box into the front seat. We both decided on the chocolate-glazed chocolate filled fritters.
One bite was all it took. This was (and my wife agreed), quite simply the most delicious thing we had ever tasted. Now I know that sounds like hyperbole, but I stand by it 100%.
We sat in the car and slowly consumed our fritters. We savoured them because, deep in our hearts we knew that we were sinning big time and that when these doughnuts were gone, sometime the next day, our new mission was to avoid going back to James Street at all costs.
Afterward, we debated a bit about it and decided that was a bit severe, so we agreed that we would only visit the witches of Beechwood once a month.
On the 30th of this month, our month is up.
Today, we went to Sears to buy a new dishwasher, microwave and washer, and dryer, and as we drove through the downtown core, the subject of doughnuts inevitably came up as it always does.
But you will be pleased to know that we were strong and resisted the siren wail of the Beechwood witches.
But the memory of our first doughnut there in the parking lot of that Home Hardware is something we will never forget. It will become part of the stories we tell our friends who come to visit, which is also, we have decided, a great excuse to scoot down to James street and get a fix from the doughnut-dealing witches of Beechwood. (http://www.beechwooddoughnuts.com/)
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